Saturday, July 30, 2011

Super Noah's Ark 3D Review

Was this a real game? Yes it actually was. Back in the day, a company called Wisdom Tree sold Christian-themed video games to kids. However they were greedy capitalists who would rather see more profit than actually give Nintendo a proper royalty. 
So they invented a cartridge that worked by plugging into a Super Nintendo, and it could bypass the lock-out chip if a real SNES game was locked on the top of it. Think Game Genie or Sonic and Knuckles in a sense. Nintendo probably had full right to take action against them, but I doubt they wanted to be known as the company that sued Jesus....er Noah whatever. 
At least the game self-admits that. Also ignore the cute animals on the cover-art. 
I say that because Super Noah's Ark is really just a FPS, and it's exactly like Wolfenstein 3D. Seriously the layout is 100% the same.
Except instead of killing Nazis, you shoot feed at animals. Who somehow kick you for no apparent reason. I thought the animals on Noah's Ark liked Noah? Why do they want him dead? 
The game is almost as ugly as the SNES version of Wolfenstein 3D, and even more awful to play. The music is annoying, and the game-play is unforgiving. It also gave me serious motion sickness. 
The game is seriously not very fun to say the very least. It may even cause you mental pain. Do not play unless you just can't help not knowing what the game is like.

Score: 1 out of 10

1 comment:

  1. haha 1 out of 10. Could sort of foresee that...

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