As I mentioned before, we had to put my dog Zelda to sleep about two months ago due to her about to lose her eyes, other health issues, and the financial costs to the surgeries that would not have improved her life just spared her less pain. She wasn't "old and barely moving" like many elderly dogs are before they're put down so it was even more difficult to make that choice. I always felt I did the right and the wrong thing at times.
I've been having these dreams a lot. Maybe five times a month. Zelda would still be alive in my dream and then we'd try to put her to sleep. How this happened varied between dream to dream and none of them were like what happened in reality back in October. But every dream ended up with Zelda surviving. One dream she'd seemed normal but still with the same health issues. One dream had her eyes looking like they were something out of a horror movie. I believe dreams are a reflection of our subconscious and I can see that I never really forgave myself for what happened to Zelda.