Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Photo: Pall-bearing Grandfather's Casket

My aunt Kelli is my mother's half-sister from my grandfather's 2nd (and final) marriage. Due to some pretty crazy family history between my grandparents and my step-grandmother Joyce, our side of the family became the "lesser" family especially as the branches of the family tree grew. It didn't really hit me as a child, I loved seeing my grandfather...which only happened once or twice a year at best. But it was strange, it was only until a few years ago that I even "knew" my aunts Kelli and Melissa than more than just names but their children are practically strangers to me. I sat down next to a big picture of many family members in the visitation for a few moments to rest and friends of the family asked me who I was. I said I was a grandson and they asked "are you in this picture?" and I sadly had to tell them "no". 

I could feel much different about this if I lived several hundred miles away but they lived ridiculously close to us for such a thing to happen. Grandpa never went to a birthday party, or a wedding that I can recall. The last time my grandparents were in the same place was about 20 years ago when my older cousin was killed in a car wreck so they both were at the funeral.  My aunt Kelli asked me to be a pall-bearer which actually meant more to me as I realized I was the only brother picked, and the only grandson. I was sadly never a very important part of my grandfather's life, but I was glad I could do this at least. It was my first time doing so, and it was about as I imagined. Since six people lift the thing at once, the "heavy" weight is not a burden.  

9 comments:

  1. It's always so sad to me that the one event that usually brings all family members together from all over the place is the funeral. You're right, living close the rest of the time hurts even more. The other time we meet these strangers seems to be at family reunions. I know it's rough right now, but writing about it sometimes helps. Hang in there! Hugs...

    ReplyDelete
  2. So very sorry about your grandfather.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Family is like that...people can grow apart.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sorry to hear that, big hugs to you and your family!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I've never been a pall-bearer. Just about everyone I know who has passed has been cremated.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am sorry, Adam, that your granddad didn't have a bigger part in your life. I try to spend hands on time with my grandkids. I only had one grandmother and saw her quite often and knew that she loved me. I want my grands to feel the same way. My only living grandfather died when I was pretty young so I don't remember much about him either. Life is just weird sometimes with family issues, isn't it? Hugs to you- Diana

    ReplyDelete
  7. Family "politics" can be so messy, it's true.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Family dynamics can be so complicated sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
  9. How sad, Adam. But I'm glad you got to be a pall bearer. It's a little closure. Families can be full of strong and choppy currents!

    ReplyDelete